When I saw this skirt in the charity shop I thought maybe, just maybe, I could wear it. It's a natural fabric, inconsequential colour, and I could mix it with black.
When I looked more closely, I didn't even try it on. There was a pocket at the front. I don't mean at the front and to the side, I mean, at the front. What is the person who wears this meant to be? A kangaroo? Even worse, I knew that if I did wear this skirt, that pocket would be a perfect substitute for a tool belt. Then I would be seen in the outside world with a pseudo-womb busting with stuff like crayons, fabric offcuts, spanners, bits of paper and the week's TV listings, which I keep meaning to look at but never do. Aha! I know what to do! I'll shove them in my pouch and look at them later!
It made a great drawstring bag, anyhow. Thanks to the enormous front pocket I'm running with that idea of tying kiddy playtoys to bits of string and hanging them from the top of the bag. I'd like to think some little kid will have hours of fun putting teddy into the pocket and taking him out again.
That is fond fantasy rubbish. Teddy will be snatched off the shoelace and nailed to the local tree with a bag round his face sooner than you can blink.
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